Detransitioners:
What Is It Like to Be One?
Detransitioning has been a controversial topic globally in the last couple of years. The subject has received much attention because of extensive discussions, detransition documentary, and various real-life experience and detransitioning stories among the transgender community.
Unfortunately, transgender people who decided to detransition received negative reactions from society, and discrimination is one of them. After all, society often associates detransition with transgender regret, even though research shows that only 1% of detransitioners do so due to regret.
As a result, March 12 was established as Detransition Awareness Day (#DetransAwarenessDay). This is to raise awareness about detransition and to battle the stigma associated with it.
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What Does Detransition Mean?
Detransitioning is the process of ceasing or reversing one’s transgender identity and affirming their gender at birth.
People have various reasons for detransitioning. While some have health-related concerns, others are pressured by their society and the discrimination and harassment they’re facing.
Still, others realize that transitioning couldn’t solve their gender dysphoria issues, leading to transgender regret.
On the one hand, trans activists feel that the mainstream media and right-wing politics are using the detrans stories to further their work against trans rights.
Such was the case with The Detransition Advocacy Network (TDAN). It’s a global non-profit organization that aims to improve the well-being of detransitioned people.
Aside from supporting people who desist from gender transition, it also pushes for the detransition destigmatization so that these people can have better healthcare and legal options.
But some trans people felt slighted when TDAN founder Charlie Evans argued against healthcare for trans youth in an attempt to make a case. Evans even went so far as to support people who oppose trans equality. Needless to say, these issues have caused a rift between trans people and detransitioners.
On the other hand, some felt like their doctors didn’t give them enough information before transitioning. This has led many of them to feel like their doctors “failed” them because they supported their transition in the first place.
That’s why March 12 is established as the Detransition Awareness Day (#DetransAwarenessDay) to raise awareness and fight the stigma associated with it.
Stories of Detransition
If you are thinking of detransitioning, know that you’re not alone.
Here are a couple of stories detailing their challenges 2.
Much has been said about undergoing detransition. But what is the process really like in the eyes of actual detransitioners?
This process gained significant media mileage through the story of British activist and detrans woman Keira Bell 1. She was the lead claimant in a court case against the Tavistock and Portman NHS Foundation Trust, which allowed underaged individuals to seek treatment for their gender dysphoria.
Male detransitioners
A Change of Heart
Jackie was 17 when she first became aware of trans issues online. Born female but acting like a tomboy as far as she could remember, Jackie felt like those issues resonated with her deeply.
She also experienced gender dysphoria, the feeling of distress due to identifying with a gender different from their assigned sex. Jackie thought this feeling would go away if everyone saw her as male.
Jackie started dressing up as male—binding her chest, changing her walk, and cutting her hair. She even changed her name and asked people to refer to her as “he/him.”
Jackie also started undergoing hormone therapy through testosterone injections. She even made plans to get top surgery to reconstruct her chest.
But after five years on testosterone, Jackie changed her mind. She also became concerned about her health since the long-term effects of hormone therapy remain unknown.
Just like other drugs, high doses can cause liver damage.
However, Jackie couldn’t find resources about detransitioning. She didn’t have a clue what to expect after stopping hormone therapy.
Plus, she also didn’t feel comfortable talking to therapists and healthcare providers:
“because they have specific political views, and I felt like if I said I had these criticisms of the whole concept of transitioning, they would have thought I was being brainwashed by transphobic bigots or whatever.”
So instead of talking to therapists, she founded an online community so that people like her could ask questions and share their experiences.
Misplaced Trauma
As a severely bullied gender non-conforming kid, Cass felt relieved when she first transitioned as it made her life a lot easier. She said it made people see her “as a man instead of a butch dyke.”
She started taking testosterone when she was 20, just three months after her mother committed suicide. But as time went by, it became apparent that her gender dysphoria was rooted more in her mother’s death than her gender identity.
Like Jackie, she searched for resources online. She found people with the same experiences as hers—bullied during childhood, developed internalized misogyny, and eventually found out that transitioning didn’t solve her dysphoria problems.
So after nine years of being a trans man, she came out again—this time as a woman.
And while she has successfully re-integrated herself into society as a female, Cass still hadn’t told the healthcare providers who helped her transition about her new process.
In fact, if she was going to be completely honest with herself, she somehow faults them for enabling her transition.
She said that her favorite therapist “helped me hurt myself. That definitely wasn’t her intention, but that’s still what happened. This contradiction is difficult to face and understand.”
Detransitioning Stories:
Finding Oneself
Every detransitioner has a story to tell, and it’s not only limited to Caitlyn Jenner detransitioning. If you are considering retransitioning and looking for detransitioning documentary to help support your decision, here are a few real-life detransitioning stories that might inspire you.
What happens when you detransition, ftm. As a kid, Ryan already felt different from girls her age.
She usually received feedback from family and friends regarding sexuality because she does not conform to what society thinks of a girl.
This feeling continued as she reached her teen years.
At 13, she started to question her gender identity. She thought she was bisexual until she realized she did not like relationships with guys.
Ryan then thought she might be a lesbian until she came to a point where she felt she did not like being in a relationship with anybody.
She lived as an asexual for about a year until she saw transition videos on Youtube. Watching videos about the experiences of trans people after transitioning, Ryan thought that if she transitioned, the social expectations as a woman would eventually go away.
That was how Ryan came up with the decision to take testosterone when she was 18. She moved to a different city, away from her family and friends. She started living as a man and built a new life from scratch.
Ryan thought that transitioning will make her feel happier. However, as with most detransitioning stories, that was not the case.
After transitioning, Ryan felt that being a trans man was a chore. It made her feel like she had created a different person, and she was not living as herself.
In other words, transitioning did not solve her gender dysphoria.
So after two years of living as a man, Ryan decided to go back to living as a woman.
Like most detransitioners, she found the detransitioning journey challenging at first. But she managed to find the courage to share her detransitioning stories on her social media platforms.
If you are thinking of detransitioning, know that you’re not alone.
Here are the stories of a couple of transgenders detailing their challenges 2.
Like almost everyone else, Helena’s detransitioning documentary started during her younger years. She was a socially awkward teen with body insecurities. At 15, she found herself a loner and was able to find comfort in making friends on the internet.
Helena was exposed to the transgender ideology through a social media platform. She opened up her feelings and experiences as a teenager on this platform, getting the support and comfort she was looking for in this community.
As she continued connecting with other people in the social media world, she started believing that she needed to undergo a gender transition to achieve happiness. It started with changing her pronouns until she came to a point when she decided to take another step toward transitioning.
After her 18th birthday, Helena decided to take testosterone to affirm her gender identity. She went to a clinic without much knowledge about it and took the maximum dosage of testosterone possible.
She was happy with the support she received from her online community despite her parents’ disapproval. However, after a few months of hormone intake, she became irritable and disoriented.
Helena experienced rage attacks that she could no longer control. After being hospitalized twice, her health care providers never brought up the possibility that her behavior was due to the testosterone she was taking. Yet, she tried minimizing her dosage and noticed some behavioral changes.
She was 20 when she decided to stop her testosterone intake completely. Helena said that she finally concluded that she was not a trans and that this journey was not for her.
Because of her real-life experience and detransitioning stories, Helena is now part of a non-government organization supporting parents with children experiencing gender identity issues.
“I don’t want to look in the mirror and not like who I am.”
This was one of Alia’s realizations when she found herself alone when the pandemic started.
Alia identified herself as bisexual when she was 16 and came out as trans at 17. In the same year, she dated someone who turned out to be a trans as well.
She was able to resonate with her partner’s feelings and experiences. This included doing what the society identifies as “boyish” things, such as playing sports and choosing to play with boys rather than girls.
At 21, Alia started taking testosterone and eventually underwent FTM top surgery. She experienced gender euphoria after the transition. She was happy that people started perceiving her the way she wanted to be perceived.
But as time went by, Alia started feeling uncomfortable with her body as a trans man. She lost her motivation in life. In her mind, she was just living life to go to work, party, travel, and so on, without a primary goal.
As she sat alone during the pandemic, she decided to detransition and go back to living as a woman.
Now, Alia is living her life again as a woman and sharing her real life experience and detransitioning stories on social media to reach out to other detransitioners who need support.
Detransitioning Stories:
Starting Afresh
While most people associate detransitioning with transgender regret, it is not the same case with everyone.
Ryan, Helena, and Alia had different detransitioning experiences. One may express regret, but the same cannot be applied to another.
What they all learned about their detransition journey was that detransitioning is a journey that can be different for each person. The common advice that they share with young people is to think very well before deciding to transition or detransition.
Medical professionals are a significant factor in a detransitioning journey. So if you are considering detransitioning, look for a compassionate and experienced medical professional who is willing to listen to you and provide detransition support.
Medical Care
Others who have already medically transitioned may also leave things as is and not seek out treatments to affirm their new gender identity. They simply stop using gender-affirming hormone therapies.
That means those detransitioning MTF stop taking testosterone. If they’re of reproductive age and have not undergone transition surgery, they’re more likely to resume menstruation.
However, they won’t lose any facial hair they’ve grown. Changes in voice and bone structure are also permanent.
Those who had MTF top surgery won’t regrow their breasts. Clitoral growth is also likely to remain.
Still, some individuals want to undergo surgery to reverse the changes they experienced during their initial transition. Some of the most commonly requested surgeries among MTF detransitioners include vaginoplasty and breast restoration.
It’s even more challenging to talk to therapists once they decided to detransition. Some people feel that their healthcare providers are discouraging them from doing so.
Or maybe they aren’t acknowledging the trauma of both the transition and detransition journey.
That is why it’s important for medical professionals to be prepared for detransitioners. By listening to patients with an open mind and empathetic attitude, physicians can get a better understanding of what these people are going through. And by doing so, transgenders who detransition can also build the trust they lost in healthcare professionals.
Schedule an appointment with Dr. Gary Rosenbaum—a board-certified plastic surgeon specializing in breast restoration surgeries—to explore your detransitioning options.
- Keira Bell: My Story https://www.persuasion.community/p/keira-bell-my-story?s=r
- The Detransitioners: They Were Transgender, Until They Weren’t https://www.thestranger.com/features/2017/06/28/25252342/the-detransitioners-they-were-transgender-until-they-werent
- Detrans Awarness Day
- The Detransition Advocacy Network (TDAN)
- Manrique, Oscar J. “Regret after Gender-affirmation Surgery: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis of Prevalence.” NCBI
- “DETRANSITION: My story, and what I wish I knew.” YouTube, 18 May 2020, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rC7EtIeWrPs.
- “MY DETRANSITION TIMELINE.” YouTube, 14 July 2020, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duY4lCfGZSA.
- “A Story Of Detransitioning | Michael Knowles Interview.” YouTube, 25 March 2022, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HbPzJy9gkY.
- “A TikToker’s Journey Detransitioning.” YouTube, 13 February 2022, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrcB2bAtvME.